


Soul Spite

by MagicaLauren



Series: This Flawed system [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Non Explicit Character Death, Obito being selfish, Soulmate AU, Soulmate Watch AU, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, preteen angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-02 14:58:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6570676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicaLauren/pseuds/MagicaLauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obito is bitter because he's in love, and this is love. Except it's not his soulmate. Not that he cares about whoever it is anymore. But this 'love' is kind of leading a break down. Soulmate au</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He's nine, and bitter as hell because she's beautiful. His black hair tosses slightly in the wind and he can smell the fresh aroma of leaves, can almost taste it on his tongue. The ache in his chest takes over all his senses though, making everything too numb to think about the peaceful scent of home. The burning hole in his chest though, the sensation of that, hasn't abated since her clock hit zero on some mission, which just pisses him off. Why should he have to deal with this? Some nameless shinobi doesn't deserve brown eyes and purple markings. Some nameless _enemy_ shinobi doesn't deserve Rin.

Realistically speaking, Obito has known she wasn't his, known for as long as he's known her. It wouldn't make sense if Obito's clock is still running even after he's met her. He doesn't even know how long it will take anymore, he's tried not to have even a passing glance at his clock ever since Rin threw him his own entrance ceremony. Not even his soulmate could be that supportive, Obito knows that Rin is special and doesn't mind that he shows up late to all his set meetings. Rin is nice, and Obito doesn't need an unsupportive soulmate who looks down on him like Obito knows they will. All the village does except the old people and Obito doesn't want an old person. Neither does Obito want some stupid soulmate.

And neither should Rin.

He's happy for her because he knows Rin is happy and that's really all it should take. But really, he was there when her clock hit zero, the whole class was. Just some pre-genin on a class trip to the border patrol, where many of them would be assigned with their Jounin sensei's stationed there. It was a small skirmish, nothing really, Obito even hit some rock-nin with his Kunai. Still, there was a pause in the battle when Rin's clock hit zero, locking eyes with an enemy nin before the call of a retreat.

Honestly, Obito isn't even sure which side called the retreat, all he knows is sitting in the barrack with the other kids inanly chatting while Rin's fingers hover over the watch on her wrist. The bold numbers declare 00:00:00, and for her sake he wished they didn't. (For his sake too, he won't admit).  
As much as Rin knows Obito, Obito knows Rin and he can see her at home while her Mom chops up veggies for dinner. He can see them gushing about what her soulmate absolutely _must_ be into, while her Dad tries to make sure none of the food burns. He was invited too, to celebrate, but with a sinking feeling of wanting to cry, Obito doesn't think he wants to listen about how Rin never realized how perfect an enemy's eyes could possibly be.

Instead he's alone, just like he was before Rin, and he looks out over the village over the Nidaime's head. All the shinobi, civilians, and children, but still Obito feels like he stands alone.

A little bit of rock shuffles inside his shoes and he feels dehydrated, he's still a kid so being uncomfortable can lead to big frustrations. He knows that he's over reacting but he's worked so hard for Rin's affections, for anyone's really. The thought that some kid could take it all away leaves a bad taste in his mouth and makes his nose tingle in a way that lets him know he might cry. Obito doesn't care, he doesn't in the slightest.

If he feels tears prick his eyes then all he does is pull down his goggles so it won't be noticeable. Another bought of frustration and resentment hits with the wash of tears,, his muscles tense and the heat doesn't help. The wave of frustration needs an outlet and Obito just wants to punch something. No matter how childish it is he doesn't care, just lifts his foot and stomps it like an animal about to stampede. The rock in his sandal digs into his foot and it just feels like Rin's soulmate come back to make his life miserable about everything.

It's stupid, just like everything else he's seem to do lately but there is no thought, no tough decision for Obito to determine his resolution and even less time to rip his watch off his wrist. It does take time to let it go though.

Unlike Rin, Obito has actively avoided his watch for years now and when he accidentally glances at it, well Obito has gotten good at forgetting what he sees. It's tempting to just look, a sort of vindication that says ' _I've got a soulmate too, I don't need Rin'_ but he knows with or without a soul mate, he needs her. He's positioned himself for a good throw, into the forest to avoid anyone, but still far enough to crack it because despite all his shortcomings Obito is still a shinobi and all the drills have been burned into his brain. The muscle at his shoulder begins to ache like his heart, a faint burn that tells him to put his hand down.

His eyes burn more. Despite the blurry vision through tears and glasses, it doesn't take much effort to follow through with a soaring arc. He vaguely watches it drop down before stomping his left foot again. He turns on his heel and begins to storm away before dropping to the ground. Obito's hands pound the dirt, feeling pieces of gravel stick to the sides of his sweaty fist and just pounds harder. He has so much anger right now and nowhere to direct it.

That night he got Katon: Gokakyu jutsu, it burned his hands and scorched the ground but it felt like the turmoil in him blazed brighter.

* * *

He has to wear long sleeves for a week so that no one will notice. His wrists are covered at all times, even when he feels miserable with heat because he knows his misery will only grow if someone notices. Watches are breakable and with some shinobi lifestyles, are easily gone, but Obito has no excuse for this one.

Rin seems to float around, like she can't even comprehend the she might even have to kill her soul mate for the village that she's prancing through right now. Obito wants to tell her, wants to break her with the realization. But he also likes the way she smiles. Obito likes Rin.

He skips for three days because it's just too much, but it seems like the teachers understand and even a few kids, except for Rin who seems confused. She knows his determination, knows how he applies himself, but Obito doesn't have the energy to explain. Not to her.

* * *

It takes a week for him to regret it, it was like he threw away his soul mate because of some girl. Obito knows that Rin will never be _some girl_ but soul mates are so important, all he has to do is look at Rin's eyes to know this. They sparkle in a different way now, as if she's changed from only one meeting with her "mystery man".

It only takes one week for a vague recollection of where he threw it away to be branded in his mind. He already missed those three days of class so instead he impatiently waits for the weekend, leg bouncing in irritation for the final seconds of the academy to end. Some kids have their faces in their palms, trying to get in their studies before the weekend begins and their parents utilize the time they have at home to force them into chores.

His leg bounces up and hits the chair again, what few books he has in his arms and waiting, waiting waiting. Sensei rarely called out a dismissal before Obito is out the door like Futon is at his heels. He hears a voice echo after him, sounding like both his Sensei and Rin are trying to chase him down and he knows why.

Sensei, he is pretty sure wants to confirm why he's been absent, try to comfort him perhaps in an awkward conversation. Rin though, is getting impatient. She knows he's been avoiding her and, she knows too that it has been since she found her soulmate. Obito can feel that she probably wants to give him her version of a stern talking to by her expressions alone.

It doesn't matter he's going to find that watch.

(He does but it takes him all weekend of scouring the greenery. To find it hidden behind a bush and protected by a group of squirrels. It takes a lot of coaxing for them to let him close but it happens.

There is a big crack down the middle, spiderwebbed cracks also streak out like lightning bolts over numbers. What brings back the feelings of intense frustration are the numbers though, six zeroes. Obito wonders if they were like that when he threw it or if he broke his watch.

He just doesn't know.)

* * *

Rin corners him. Piercing him down with her gaze as sharp as a Naginata. Inside he thinks that one day she'll be an amazing Kunoichi, but the truth is she already is. Her eyes scream accusations, yells at him and rages. For all that Rin seems perfect she's just a person- a kid, and soulmates are something she's fantasized about for years. For all that Rin's willing to give she wants to take too and Obito hasn't shown one shred of happiness, one bit of sentiment to show how glad he is that she found something so important to her.

_Support me!_ Her brown eyes beg him _I've supported you…_ they plead to understand and Obito sees himself in her. Her anger to hide her sadness, he's right there in the obsidian pupils that mirror his soul back to him.

Obito breathes in and breathes out the words "Rin, I need help," and it's more than just a lended hand he needs right now. He doesn't want her to help him do something, isn't asking her to fix his watch. This cry is for himself, a plea to help fix _himself._

Even if his watch is broken his soulmate exists, and right now he feels as broken as his watch. For his soulmate he'll fix it, he'll put whatever he needs to forward to be the worthy soulmate.

_You just want to be the kind of soulmate Rin wants._ A voice accuses him and it sounds like the one he just read in Rin's eyes.

It's not entirely wrong though, he knows as Rin's anger morphs into a kind face ready to help, to give.

* * *

The blood squelched on Kakashi's shoes is a perfect color match for the angry marks that will scar his mind. If they were on his pale skin they would be raised and ugly. But not a single bruise mars his porcelain. He had spent the weekend at the hospital staring at the white of the psych ward and he's sick of the pale color.

His eyes follow a path from his shoes to the empty landscape of his home. For the first time in a long time he feels it. For the first time since he took it off in a fit to act cool and matured he wants to see it. He wants to know when _they_ will come. He wants to know when he'll be saved from his own mind.

He'll be saved.

Kakashi takes a few steps forward then stumbles on the carpeted floor that separates his entryway and living room. He pulls himself up before he makes it halfway down then begins again toward his room.

His genius is only a label to explain that he thinks, not faster or ahead of others, just that he thinks more and Kakashi believes anyone could be at his level if they tried. He thinks more about the bad and the demons that plague him, he'll see Sakumo's- his Father's (Dad's) face more than anyone else in his mind's eyes. He'll think about this more.

That was his Dad.

Kakashi breaks into a mad sprint, a desperate race against his mind, pulling, pushing, shoving the door into the wall. Grasping, gasping toward the drawer that held his salvation. That held the key to his salvation. Shaking hands pull open a shaking drawer, piles of paper get flung across the room. Old mission reports and rule books being thrown at the wall, tossed and floating toward the ground.

At the back, shoved between ink and a compass lays the small device. Sweaty hopeful hands take hold of the object, holding it so hard that his nails bite into his skin.

00:00.

Kakashi remembers all of the hopeful faces, the voices who called his name in an attempt to speak with the "great genius". Who was it? Who? Even if he didn't notice they would have, who didn't tell him. He knows amidst his fleeing and disposition many had become intimidated or just plain pissed but surely not his soulmate? They would have stayed, they would see through his layers because that's what soulmates do right?

They were supposed to be here for him. In his time of need.

He wasn't in need. Sakumo killed himself. Far before the hilt of his kanto had sunk and met his skin.

Kakashi glanced at the fallen papers. Slowly lowering the watch to it's place then bending to pick up the papers. He stacked them slowly, his mind as blank and white as the backs of some of the pages. Eventually his hands enclosed around a thick book, stared uncomprehendingly at the bold letters. Ah yes, the rules, the weapon with which Sakumo had used to destroy himself. How pitiful.

How pitiful.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obito's maybe not so over Rin and Kakashi's rebelling

“The Kid’s fuckin’ crazy, like hell I’m doing patrol with that piece ah-” a man’s voice slurs in a deep rumble of disapprovement. Beside him a teenager nods furiously with eyes widened in a mix of faked (or maybe remembered) fear and plead for understanding. 

 

A tanned man sits behind multiple short piles of scrolls and organized paperwork as he shifts through drawer after drawer. Resurfacing he looks at the older man who stood before him. The brown eyes lazily take note of the aging man. The slightly wrinkled man had made it to chunnin before stopping in the line of shinobi advancement and taking in his own group of chunnin for patrols, upper c-ranks and other menial tasks.

 

The man behind the desk sighs and wishes to be anywhere else but listening to the clearly bitter man rant in his jealousy induced anger. Still, this is the fifth report against the supposed genius in the last month, and as someone who had to listen to every complaint that comes with working at mission control, he was sick of the kid himself. 

 

The desk chunnin rubbed his temples and gripped the object he had searched for in his right hand while holding up the other up in a  _ stop _ motion with his left. The older man grumbled a bit before completely stopping and turned his attention to the desk chunnin who opened his mouth in response. “Sasaki-san, please I know but I had to assign him to you before I could deny him. Just please hand in your mission report,” here the chunnin drew his eyebrows in for a pleading motion toward the older man “and I’ll see to it that the boy won’t be assigned under you again,” he bartered for the paper laying limp in the older man’s hand.

 

“Sorry, sorry to trouble ya’...” the graying man held up the papers to hand in the crumpled report and watched as the chunnin stamped it with an object held tightly in his right hand before quickly signing a signature and note in the margins. The desk chunnin nodded up at Sasaki in dismissal and began to organize the mission report into one of the many piles that lay scattered around his desk. Both the older chunnin and teenaged chunnin turned to leave the room before the desk chuunin eyes flickered up in consideration.

 

Sasaki had undoubtedly been blinded by the jealousy of a genin at the age of six, if he were to analyze it perhaps even the idea of a child advancing through the ranks so quickly while the man had been locked in a stalemate at chunnin-hood had been itching at the man’s skin since the beginning. But next to him was a boy, another chunnin. 

 

It was true that this was war time and anyone who could be advanced would be advanced but Konoha didn’t needlessly give out reward he had to have some skill. The boy was about fifteen of sixteen- the average age for a chunnin but he probably had retained the kind of skill that a weathered chunnin had smoothed out in favor of experience. The desk chunnin had seen it in the sneaky way younger shinobi still used academy level clones and kept a sharper eye even in camps. 

 

“Hiroto-kun,” he called out to the retreating boy and watched the startled way he turned, only confirming his suspicions, that yes this boy is the perfect amount of weary. “I would like to speak to you for a second,” pausing the chunnin shot a glance toward the hovering man “alone.”

 

Hesitantly the boy closed the door behind his senior and walked back toward the desk behind which the lone chunnin sat. Nodding in a go ahead motion, Hiroto relaxed into a stance of both respect, attentiveness but still with familiarity that came with the neighborly attitude in the village despite war time wariness. The chunnin smiled up at the boy on the other side of his desk to assuage his fears and asked calmly “Tell me about Kakashi-kun,” and took note of the tense in the boy's features.

 

He looked up expectantly at the nervous boy as he fiddled with his newly minted green vest, a bad tell that gave way to his inexperience. He narrowed his eyes at the nervous fingers before demanding in his best ‘senpai’ voice “Hiroto, report,” then sat back to watch the boy collect his nerves. 

 

The boy straightened his back and clasped his hands behind his back at the tone. “Kakashi is undoubtedly a genius sir, but he is reckless. I am unable to tell if he lashes out in a childish way or if it is simply arrogance, I even have suspicions that his attitude could be linked to the untimely loss of his father.” 

 

The desk chunnin nodded along to the confirmations of his own thoughts but looked to the boy for more. The teenager had been in the field with Kakashi, he wanted information on what he didn’t know. “However it is the way he acts out that I find myself leaning towards the latter of my assumptions,” here the chunnin paused in a return of hesitation. “Hiroto,” warned the desk chunnin, ready for the boy to spit out what was on his mind.

 

“Sir,” the teenaged boy began slowly before picking up speed “Kakashi follows the rules to a T, I strongly suspect this is because of the backlash Sakumo received before his death. Furthermore, he almost follows the rules before an order as if looking to find a way to passively aggressively attack his seniors, even if they haven’t acted in anything but a kindly way. Maybe this is because he finds them codeling which wars against his genius and self conceived maturity?” The boy’s voice died down as he seemed to come back to himself and the hate he and the others at the border station had garnered over the past week. 

 

The chunnin nodded before waving his hand in dismissal and instructed the boy to send in whoever was outside. Hiroto hesitated, clearly warring the chances of asking about the report before turning and shutting the door.

 

The desk chunnin shuffled out a file from underneath a few loose papers.  _ Is this boy stable for the field? _ He questioned himself, not for the first time since noticing the red markings on Kakashi's file. While if the Hokage wanted the boy out in the field, a chunnin like himself would make no difference, as was showcased by the pointedly ignored complaints that had trickled in over the past months. Still, a suggestion to the boy’s file would be important for the long run. 

  
The chunnin pulled out a pen and hesitated over the lines next to the red mark that read  _ missing soul timer _ and the future suggestion for ROOT.

* * *

 

If Obito’s being honest, that whole thing with Rin was probably just a kid thing, they’re best friends and Obito was just wishing for more. Why does every relationship have to end in romance?  _ Because this is your  _ **_only_ ** _ relationship and if she doesn’t love you, who will?  _ He briefly passes over the thought before shoving it down with every other self deprecation. 

 

Instead he focused on the task at hand, and reaches for every sensation. His eyes flutter shut against the very scarce freckles that litter his skin, his nose wrinkled up to inhale the sweet meadow, and his fleet slightly nudge the ground into a firmer stance. He’s good at clearing his mind, to make it so you don’t think anything at all. To everything in the world but you white noise. So that’s what he does and pushes away his cluttered thoughts like he’s making room on a desk for some new project. 

 

Until it’s only him, and he tastes the roof of his mouth, feels a slight slick of sweat on his leg, hears his slightly erratic heartbeat, smells himself, the dirt and the grass. His eyes pop open, his lids widening open more than normal in their flight apart and he  _ sees _ . He sees the target and it’s faded paint, it’s inlaid scratches. Everything around it is still in focus but it’s blurred by his mind and for a second he thinks he might have the sharingan. His foot stomps slightly forward, and his hands clamp together. He weaves the necessary signs like he invented them,  reaches forward and-

 

_ How lonely _

 

_ - _ Stumbles. Taking his high with him as he falls to the ground.

 

Suddenly every thought is back and screaming, he feels like he stood up too fast. Obito’s cheek rubs with loose dirt as he pulls himself forward then up, releasing his tangled limbs from underneath him. He drags himself up into a kneeling position but has to stop and hold his head for a few seconds while he blinks out the black fuzzy spots. He takes a second to collect himself and rests his knuckles against the ground.

 

The voice didn’t attack him, didn’t scream obscenities or self hate. It didn’t even demand for his ‘oppressors’ to leave him alone. It sounded bored, like it was forced to make that observation, as if someone were saying ‘look at Obito, what do you see?’. And while Obito knows he’s alone in the world, has accepted it, lived it, and breathed it he’s not sure why he’s thinking it now of all times. 

 

Is it Rin? Obito’s over her, he swears it even as he feels tickles of emotion sweep him when she smiles. He was just about to get Gokakyu No Jutsu, had cleared his mind and left his emotions so why is that voice stumbling through his mind? 

 

A break is what he needs, so instead of dwelling on the lingering sense of self hate Obito begins to walk off the field. Crunches the grass and swipes for his water bottle- twice- before he falls back down under a tree. He tosses off his goggles somewhere to the side and their orange peeks through the brown roots and verdant grass. His closed bottle tumbles onto his chest and he stretches. Spreading wide and vulnerable over the shaded area, scarcely cooler than the beating sun that falls around the tree. He can count the tips of leaves from his resting place so that’s what he begins to do for a bit, noting the differing shades of green and brown.

 

Just as he pulls up his knee and sets down his arm to push up he hears a call, a welcomed call- the most welcomed call. Through the simultaneous summer melancholic haze of pondering  and pushing away thoughts Obito’s been doing lately he pulls up an emotion. Dredges up a smile to the person who puts it there and flashes a smile at the girl who he loves but is not in love with. 

As it turns out, Obito’s not over Rin. This discovery comes with her smile and wit. With a side dish of thinking it over while staring at his ceiling the night before graduation. She brought him food the other day and just talked to him. It was nice.

 

In the compound no one really wants to talk to him, but he’s still an Uchiha despite his bastard status. They are friendly enough even when they hold him at a distance but they still turn away. That’s why he left, why he met Rin. 

 

She doesn’t hold him at a distance and it’s both endearing and incredibly frustrating. 

 

Obito had been focusing so hard he was practically meditating into his jutsu. The mental exhaustion was taking a toll he was used to. Then Rin came, bento in hand too.

 

She’s observant enough and knows he’s working over something in his mind. They’ve been walking on eggshells ever since his plead for help a week ago, she wants to ask but is scared of the answer. 

 

The first thing to know is that Obito asking her for help pretty much slapped her out of her soulmate induced revere. There’s a part of Obito that twists into guilt and joy at her reminder that soulmates aren’t perfect. She had checked out books when she first came back from that fateful mission but now she’s poured over them in a renewed enthusiasm for her best friend.

 

The second thing is the faked familiarity. This burns Obito, makes him want to itch his skin off. Rin’s judging him for what she must view as a juvenile attitude towards soulmates. To her it’s simply inconceivable that one could be  _ that _ careless about soulmates. She walks around the questions ( _ How did you break it? Do you know who it is? What else are you hiding?) _ and it’s put up the sort of wall he’s been trying to escape. 

 

The final thing is the reason Obito loves her. Despite the stale air, the seemingly large lack of conversation, despite all of this, Rin forges on like the head strong Kunoichi she is. She laughs at inside jokes, nudges him in the direction of a weird face their classmate makes and patiently waits for him at the school gates. 

 

And the dinner he missed in his fit he attends in a raincheck fashion. Meets up with Rin’s mom as she picks out vegetables at the store with a bright “Mrs. Nohara!” And helping her carry her groceries. He laughs with Rin’s family and Obito is relieved because the whole time they sit around the family’s table the topic of soulmates isn’t brought up once. 

 

But it’s at moments like this, when he lays with his back completely pressed against his bed, that he knows he’s truly fucked. 

 

He graduates tomorrow and he focuses on that to ignore the pain of his heart. He’ll admit that he’s nervous but Obito won’t let Rin graduate alone.

With the realisation that he’s utterly and completely not over Rin is the large unadulterated hope that she’ll be his. That even if they weren’t soulmates by destiny they’re soulmates by personality.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t own Naruto or it’s characters
> 
> A/N: Wow, I just wrote a second chapter. I hardly know where I’m going with this but after a few follows, comments and support for a second chapter I decided there is definitely more to this story. So I feel like I might suck at dialogue and also the whole chunnin scene might seem weird so here’s a quick explanation- there’s three chunnin the oldest chunnin no one cares about, the desk chunnin has been getting complaints about Kakashi so he uses the youngest chunnin for information. Where is this going? Comment and tell me cause i don’t know. Also my line break bar thing didn't paste, any information?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in Naruto
> 
> A/N: I think that is that, I don’t know what else I can write. I mean if you all want me to let me know but I think that is the end. So, first chapter story and it’s a soulmate au. I think the first chapter was the best and a part of me should’ve left it as a one shot but I’m glad I wrote more. Please leave a comment! I have no clue what my writing or if you guys like it. So I guess that is the end of my FIRST chapter story.

 

After about thirteen teams who refuse to work with him ever again, seven therapy appointments that Kakashi didn’t quite miss but instead turned into an appointment for the therapist,  and six times that he’s met with the Hokage, it’s decided that something needs to be done. In true Konoha optimism, a genin team and some good time with kids his age is decided to be exactly what Kakashi needed. He wants to scream.

* * *

 

Technically they’ve all passed their exams and were genin but teams weren’t to be assigned for another week when mission control could make sure that all the Jounin would be present. 

 

On the first day Obito stays home, it’s the first day of the weekend so he stays home, gets some groceries, helps old ladies and even manages to avoid the other kids in the compound. He thinks about his soulmate, thinks about Rin and then his future. It feels kind of like all the excitement of his childhood is winding down and while he has a much longer road to walk it feels like he’s approaching the end of everything.

 

He spreads across his bed with his shoes tossed in one direction, his goggles another and his jacket is draped across the foot of his bed. He breathes in and out and feels just a little bit sad for everything that he feels he’s losing. No matter what he’ll keep in touch with Rin. He knows that of all the changes that were to come Rin would be a constant, through all of the exciting new missions.

 

She knows about his watch, he knows about hers and while neither of them are soulmates in the way Obito wishes they’re best friends no matter what. He still pines though, waits for her to turn around one day and see him, waiting for her. A part of him knows it’s pathetic but he won’t stop anytime soon because that would be giving up and she’s not someone Obito’s willing to give up. In the period of the past two weeks it feels like everyone’s matured and while they’re only nine that’s about one fourth of his life done in the average shinobi life span. 

This marks the end of his childhood, the end of all of theirs. 

 

Rin doesn’t talk about her soulmate, and this is for a couple of reasons. The first is probably to spare Obito’s feelings, and it might just be that she doesn’t talk to  _ Obito _ about her soulmate. That aches, just another bruise in the myriad that is Obito’s unrequited love affair for Rin. This backed up by the stack of books messily shoved under Rin’s bed every time he goes over, the way the stack doesn’t have one particle of dust despite laying under there for a week. The second is that she doesn’t have much more to say. She’s met him once in a whirlwind battle and a fleeting glance, that doesn’t quite give her enough to compose sonnets. Although, for Rin it might be. He notices sometimes that Kurenai and Rin speak in hushed voices, and that whenever Asuma notices he blushes down to his ears. He’s always sitting close to Kurenai, as close as Obito does to Rin and Obito is tempted to ask what they’re saying. A masochistic way to remind himself that Obito isn’t the person Rin wants.

 

Gai’ changed in two contradicting ways. He’s more boisterous, he finds the event of graduation as a gateway into their “True Youth!” as if it weren’t true before and all a lie. The contradiction lies in his sharp eyes and when he doesn’t speak. Which, when it comes to Gai slightly off putting but mostly a relief. He looks, well, worried. Sometimes Dai-san doesn’t pick Gai up on time, while all the other parents swarm the academy and enthusiastically listen to the childish renditions of their kid’s days Gai stays on the steps alone and watches. Obito is familiar with that feeling  of being the only one who can’t yell in excitement. The difference though, is that Gai waits patiently, Obito’s given up. 

 

There are other too, who didn’t pass the genin exam and can either retake it or move on into the days of civilian life like their parents did. Unless their parents are shinobi, most kids who didn’t pass are choosing to live the simple life. They plan on apprenticeships to artisans and others who are the staple in Konoha’s less erratic community. Obito hates them, there is war on the horizon and they choose to obscure themselves in the normalities of life, to ignore the suffering around them. 

 

Obito, spread wide and staring at his board of pictures, thinks about all of this and feels melancholic. 

 

The second day, and last day of their short weekend is spent with Rin and the others at a lake out in the forest. It’s obscure but still visited enough by those in the civilian district that they feel safe enough in the green covered clearing. None of them go swimming because none of them know how but they wade in, pulling up the bottoms of their pants and pointing fish out to all of them. 

 

Gai somehow gets the bentos wet. There is a (very serious) splashing war.

 

The third day finds them all back at the academy in a class cut in half. Some of the kids who have a civilian life planned out for them stay, another group of civilian kids don’t bother coming, already planning on apprenticeships with whoever their parents can ship them off to. It’s an easy lesson on the founders and sensei praises them on how much they’ve learned. Obito thinks that maybe things might be ok.

 

On the fourth day everything is definitely  _ not  _ ok. Teams are announced, for the most part everyone is in a good team. Rin’s on Obito’s team and that’s all he ever wanted, the opportunity to stay with Rin. Genin teams share a bond, Obito knows about the old jounins in the compound who still talk to all the members of their old teams. Obito can live with that. His sensei is Namikaze Minato, not somebody that Obito thinks he’s ever met so Obito will save his judgements. 

 

Hatake Kakashi is on his team. They’ve never spoken but if Obito had to choose an arch nemesis it would pretty much be a toss up between Hatake Kakashi and Rin’s soulmate. While Obito lives in a family known for kekkei genkai, one that he fails in. He learned the Gokakyu jutsu about a year later than his peers, he chose to be a shinobi instead of joining the force and has never even activated his kekkei genkai. He’s pretty much a failure. Hatake Kakashi is everything Obito should have been, he’s seen the way his dad looked at him the one time Kakashi came to play with them. He’s loved, he’s a genius in a clan already known for their power. Which means that Kakashi is a genius that exceeds geniuses. Also, if there was anyway to succeed in being a shinobi in the tragedy of their lives Kakashi has succeeded while Obito has only failed.

 

Even worse, Rin likes him. Now it’s in a sort admiration that everyone holds towards him, but when Rin first heard about Hatake, well she really hoped he would be her soulmate. And, well doesn’t that just burn him.

 

They’ve been in competitions together (even if Hatake never realized) and have played together, but there has never really been an introduction. Obito can only think that  _ his majesty  _ can’t be bothered to grace the peasants with his presence. Kakashi has never even heard of the word suffering in his life.

* * *

 

Kakashi is running on pure adrenaline. He hasn’t slept for three days and is covered in  _ so much blood, who is it, he doesn’t even know which innocent he’s killed this time.  _

 

While others his rank, or even age might go on border patrols around the village, Kakashi has already pissed off all of the teams assigned around the village. So he was sent to the outskirts, where it is still considered under the protection of Konoha but is villages away from home. 

 

He’s been sent with a message back to the Hokage to let him know of the tower that was just attacked. Him and a jounin were in a village at the time, only a supply run when the tower went up in flame. Suddenly there was fire everywhere, he never even made it back to the tower but there was so much chaos that Kakashi’s not entirely sure who he might’ve killed. 

 

( _ The store owners daughter had been close, did he accidentally kill her? Did he do it on purpose? _ )

 

By the time he even saw anyone else with a Konoha hitai-ate he’d gotten a scroll shoved in his hands and directions to run and  _ don’t stop _ . He didn’t even have time to argue, that he could help before the woman who’d given him the scroll got a kunai through the neck. 

 

A loud voice has been accusing him ever since he left-  _ YOU COWARD, _ it howls at him  _ protect them, they’re innocents and you just left them to the  _ **_Iwagakure_ ** . It spits out and he agrees but he can’t stop. He thinks his feet might be bleeding but that doesn’t stop him. Other konoha nin along the way notice him, they try to call out to him but he won’t stop.

 

What if they were Iwa-nin in disguise? Trying to lure him? Kakahi’s not sure if he should stop to kill them or not. 

 

Everyone’s trying to catch him and he just runs through their arms, relying on his agility and height before he crashes through to the Sandaime’s office. How did he even get there? Wasn’t he just in the forest? 

 

Glass clatters to the ground, some of it stabs him leaving trails of blood. It only mixes with what was already there. A stab goes through his right arm and it throbs.

 

Everything is black.

* * *

 

Medical relief, Kakashi already hates it. Even worse as soon as he’s back he’s reminded of the horrors within the village- he’s being put in a gennin team. 

 

He can fight, he’s strong he knows he can fight. How can they just throw him in with inexperienced genin while there are people dieing on the borders? 

 

He spends three hours in the shower, the blood never comes off but Kakashi’s not entirely sure he wants it to. Let it soak his skin and remind the world of who he is. 

 

Tomorrow he goes back to what is basically a civilian life. Tomorrow he has to sit there and block out what he knows is happening. He finds though that he’s surprisingly good at that. 

 

Forget them, forget Sakumo, forget the village, forget the blood, forget what it was like to be innocent. When he was fighting it was easy to forget moral. 

 

His skin is bright pink and stinging. The shower has made his skin incredibly sensitive and it itches and burns and he wants to scrape it off. The lights pierce his eyes so he closes all the curtains. He covers himself in blankets but they only scrape against his arms. The back of his throat itches and he fights to swallow through the bile that is rising. His mouth gets warm and his skin burns.

 

Kakashi stares at the wall and forgets.

* * *

 

Obito wakes up early, his alarm doesn’t go off for another two hours but he doesn’t think he can sit still. He makes himself breakfast and then almost throws it up.

 

He decides some training is what he needs to burn off this energy so he heads out to the training fields before he goes to the academy to meet with his new sensei. He slashes and burns and throws himself at beat up trees and targets. He slips on the slicked grass of the morning and doesn’t even notice the sun come up. He falls to the ground, gets back up and his skin is probably littered in bruises. 

It takes him about two hours to get to the academy from when he leaves an hour early. He takes the quickest route too, straight through the square where Old Aiko- San struggles with her early morning route. She likes to go to the market before the crowds, and Obito can’t leave her. He’s still got an hour so he skids to a stop and eases her bags into his arm and listens to her ramble about how her husband is a good for nothing. Obito doesn’t mention that her husband has been dead for years.

 

It happens three more times but honestly Obito should have expected it. 

 

When he finally stumbles up to the building (one hour late) that holds his childhood Rin is bouncing on the balls of her feet. She’s glaring, both at Obito in reprimand and at the other two who stand beside her. Obito is so thankful for her because he knows that if it had been anyone else they all would have left. 

 

He yells out an apology to the man who is so bright that he could be the sun, he looks brighter than Obito. Then his eyes slide to the shock of white hair that stands with a glare. 

 

Obito hates him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Naruto
> 
> A/N: So I tried writing the selfishness of a kid with the side of a preteen whose maturing and moody (ex. Even though he likes Rin he only keeps her happy for himself) and I'm not sure if it's ooc and too 'dark' but I hope it turned out good. I also added in the extra pressures of him being a nine year old who's already ready to fight that comes with 'war time'. I tried getting that across with the title? The easy way to hate someone with the quick emotions of a child? Anyway R&R, let me know if it was too ooc or how I could improve that, even knew title names.


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